Once a month, a bunch of authors get together and post excerpts from published books, contracted work or works in progress, and link to each other. You don’t have to be published to participate–just a writer with an excerpt you’d like to share. For more info on how to participate, head over to the Excerpt Monday site! or click on the banner.
This month, I’m posting one final excerpt from Rock Me, my May ’10 release from Samhain. It occurred to me the other two were both in Candace’s POV, so I thought I’d pick one from Brian’s. Unleashed fans will rejoice that we hear from Evan in this one. :)
Also, just a note: it hasn’t been through edits yet.
_____________________________________________________
Physical pain he could take. It came, did its damage, and was gone. He didn’t know what to do about the ache that gnawed at his gut after everything crashed down around him. There had only been a handful of times he’d experienced it, and today was definitely one of them.
After one night with the girl? No way.
It couldn’t be just about Candace. The way she’d treated him was shitty, that was all, and he’d be pissed at any girl who screwed him over. God knew he didn’t mind using someone, and he didn’t mind being used. But that shit was supposed to be understood from the start. There were ethics involved. Two people getting each other off was one thing. But she couldn’t ask him to be her first, she couldn’t look at him as if she wanted to crawl inside him, she couldn’t cry on his shoulder for ten minutes in the shower only to turn around and treat him like crap afterward.
But she wouldn’t know a damn thing about how any of this works, dumbass. Remember?
That was the exact reason he was better off without the hassle.
It was too bad the memories from last night and this morning were tainted from her subsequent freak out. He could’ve still been drifting on the euphoria of it all. Even now, he could still smell the scent of her skin, still taste her on the back of his tongue. Still feel her wrapped tight and wet around his fingers. He’d been walking around all day at half mast, from that memory alone, and it was beginning to wear him down.
When he went back up front, someone had turned up the tunes, but the sounds of Static-X were doing nothing to soothe his savage beast. He got the next person in line—who wanted a tat, thank God, because it was his favorite thing to do to mellow him out—and got her prepped and under the needle in no time. She wanted a fairy on her shoulder blade, and it would probably take a good hour or so. Plenty of time to clear his head.
Until Starla stuck the phone under his face, totally destroying his already feeble concentration. “Here. It’s your brother.”
He frowned and leaned away from the offending instrument. “He can get me on my cell later.”
Starla rolled her eyes and brought the phone back to her ear. “Evan, he’s tied up, can you call him later?” She listened for a second and then held it back to him, laughing. “He says you need to learn how to multitask.” Even the girl he was working on giggled.
“Dammit.” He grabbed the phone, crammed it between his ear and shoulder, and picked up the line he’d left off on her skin. “We’re swamped, brother. I don’t call for you and tell them to drag your ass out of court, do I?”
Evan cut right to the chase. He and their mom were alike in that regard, at least when it came to Brian. “Why is Sylvia Andrews calling me out of court asking me to help her keep you away from her daughter?”
“The hell. Are you shitting me?”
“What have you done now?”
“Man, I ain’t done nothing. I can’t even begin to tell you how much nothing I did.” Well, okay, he’d done a little, but that was no one’s business but his and Candace’s.
“Ordinarily I wouldn’t believe that for a second, but because it’s Candace we’re talking about, you might be telling the truth.”
Did everyone know this girl was a virgin except for him? Did other guys have some kind of built-in hymen alert mechanism he was lacking? He never would have taken Candace for someone who took frequent trips around the block, but hell, at least once or twice. She was in college and she was gorgeous, for fuck’s sake. But somehow she’d managed to keep that hot little body under wraps all this time. Were the guys over there blind?
I’d still want to wait for you.
Shit.
“Why do you say that?”
“Her parents guard her like she’s Fort Knox. If they had snipers stationed around her place to take out anyone who dares approach her door, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Then they must have surveillance cameras mounted somewhere across the street. Or spies. “I kinda get that now,” he muttered. “I’d already heard, but Jesus, I thought Michelle was always exaggerating at least a little whenever she talked about it.” Damn, it must have been hard for Candace growing up. Guys probably ran screaming from her at the very thought of facing down her parents.
Well, he wouldn’t have. He’d have proven it to her this morning, if she’d given him a shot.
“She wasn’t, trust me. I didn’t even know you were hanging out with Candace.”
“I’m really not. And I doubt I ever will be. So ease your mind.”
Evan paused for a second, losing the sharp prosecutorial edge to his voice when he spoke next. “You don’t sound too happy about that.”
“Look, does it matter?”
“I was already itching to tell the woman to take a flying leap. I would’ve done it, but I didn’t have the details. She didn’t like what I did tell her.”
“And that was?”
“I said I wasn’t aware of the situation with you and her daughter, but if she had a problem with it, she needed to take it up with you and Candace. Not me.”
Brian blew out the breath he’d been holding. Just when he thought he had his brother pegged, Evan surprised him. He could’ve shown the same outrage as Mrs. Andrews and trashed Brian on the phone to her for half an hour and promised her he wouldn’t let his evil thug of a brother near the poor defenseless maiden again. He could have, but he hadn’t. “Bless you.”
“They have to start letting her live her life sometime. But I have to say, if you’re trying to add a notch to your belt, then she really is better off without you.”
There was the Evan he knew. No matter what, he was always hiding in there somewhere. “Hey, just drop it now. All right? I appreciate what you said to her, but I can handle it from here without your input on who I should or shouldn’t hang out with. What the fuck am I, fourteen again?”
Evan sighed. “Sometimes you act like it.”
He bit down on a crude, juvenile comment that would only have proven his brother’s point, something like I got your fourteen right here, but suddenly, he was utterly exhausted. Spent. He didn’t want to deal with it anymore, just wanted to get through tonight and post up at home. For days.
“I gotta go. I do work, believe it or not.”
“I know you do, Brian. And believe it or not, I’m proud of you.”
He nearly choked. It was the first time he could ever remember hearing those words out of anyone’s mouth in his family. Focus, dude, he told himself, struggling to stay in the purple line on his client’s skin. Any second now it was going to start to blur, and how uncool would that be? Christ Almighty, he was a sap lately.
“Damn, for once I’ve stunned you into silence,” Evan laughed. “Hey, don’t be a stranger, okay? I dread to see you walk in the door, but Kelsey likes for you to come around, for some reason.”
“How’s the baby?”
His brother seemed taken aback that he would ask. “He’s great. He’s amazing. Come see him anytime you want, all right?”
“I will soon. See you.”
He clicked off the phone and tossed it back to Starla behind the front desk before things could become any gooier. He had a girl fully lodged under his skin and his brother trying to make him cry.
What the ever-loving hell.
______________________________________________
Links to other Excerpt Monday writers
Note: I have not personally screened these excerpts. Please heed the ratings and be aware that the links may contain material that is not typical of my site.
When I was a junior in high school, I became obsessed with a vampire series. Sound a little familiar? Except this was waaay before Twilight, and the series I loved didn’t make quite as big a splash. It didn’t get a movie, though I might’ve been persuaded to part with a vital organ if only one could be made. That series was L.J. Smith’s The Vampire Diaries, and it was the story that made me take a long look at myself and finally say with absolute certainty, “I want to do this. I want to write.” It was, and remains, the only story that has ever drawn that kind of emotion out of me. When I finished the third volume (the last at the time, but Smith later wrote a fourth, and is writing more now), I cried, I threw things, I beat on my pillow. Not because I hated it, but because it just absolutely gutted me. And I re-read those books until the pages literally fell out and I had to buy new ones. I lost count of how many copies I ended up going through.
I’d always been a writer, but something about that story lit a fire in my blood that hasn’t been extinguished to this day. Not only did I want to write, but I wanted to write vampires. (Funny how that worked out, huh, since my first two books are straight contemps with nary a fang in sight?) Anyway, I was in love. With a fictional character. Who was a vampire. At the time, I thought that was a little weird, but who knew well over a decade later it would pretty much become the norm among teenage girls?
I wasn’t infatuated with Stefan, the “nice” one, the “good” brother; oh, no. It was Damon. I thought he was fascinatingly complex. He was the antihero, the villainous one who liked to talk a big game but in the end operated on a moral code even he didn’t want to admit to. He always had a quip; he always had the answer. He was strong and deadly and for a YA series with no sex, managed to burn up the pages in just about every scene he was in. Hello… kissing Elena’s palm, looking into her eyes and quoting “To Helen” by Poe? “Helen, thy beauty is to me / Like those Nicean barks of yore / That gently, o’er a perfumed sea…” I will NEVER forget those lines as long as I live, just because of that scene. No other vampire will ever measure up in my eyes. Sorry, Edward. ;)
Now–and I speculate this is because of the hype surrounding Twilight and to a lesser extent True Blood–L.J. Smith is resurrecting the series, writing new books centered on Damon. I don’t think I can read them. I tried the first and had to put it down. See, part of Damon’s mystique was just that: he was a mystery. In four books, only one scene was written in his POV, and it was very short and very sparse. You never knew what he was thinking, and that was how he was able to maintain his fearsomeness and unpredictability. When’s he going to pop up next? What’s he going to say? Is he going to save the day? Or ruin it? I’m afraid he’ll lose most of that if I can see inside his head.
And, on top of the new books, tonight I watched the series premiere of the The Vampire Diaries on CW. I had to wait almost two decades, until I’m in my thirties, for these books to be turned into a TV series–something I might’ve sold my soul for in my teens. The show was quite a departure from the story, but you know, I was pleased. I nitpicked it to death–Elena was BLOND! She didn’t have a BROTHER! Stefan and Damon originated during the ITALIAN RENAISSANCE!–but it was fun. I’m cautiously optimistic, and will continue to watch.
I guess we have the Twilight/True Blood hype to thank for the TV series, too, but what really irks me are the people who dismiss TVD as a Twilight rip-off. Oh, no no no. Even though they’re getting more attention now, those books were captivating readers before a lot of the Twilight fans were even born. So never make that mistake, and we’ll be fine. ;) They came first.
I haven’t read these books in years, so I don’t know how well they’ve “aged”. I have them so built up in my mind because of my youthful adoration I’m afraid they can’t possibly stack up today, and that might tarnish my memories a bit. That’s the last thing I want. But man, the TV show has put me in the mood to revisit them. Whatever else it would be, I’m sure it would be like seeing old friends again.
In case you haven’t noticed my updated Books page or the sidebar or my Tweet or my post on RD–can you tell I’m excited?–Brian’s story sold to Samhain! Right now we’re calling it Rock Me (though these things tend to change) and it’s scheduled for release on May 4, 2010. I’m thrilled to be working with my awesome editor, Linda Ingmanson, again.
Everything is still in the early stages, of course, but I’ll update with a blurb and other good stuff as soon as I have finalized versions. I think I’m just as ecstatic over this one as I was over the first, but then I wonder, does it ever get old? How could it?
For a couple of unedited excerpts, check out my Excerpt Monday posts for June and August. Same story, only it had a different title back then.
In other news, Unleashed will be out in print in February. I’m now turning my attention to my contemporary paranormal demon/angel story, as yet untitled. I had a few thousand words written, but had to scrap them when there was a change in plot. So I’ve been allowing myself a couple weeks’ downtime while I bask in the glow of my second sale and psych myself up for the new project. I plan to throw myself into it full force September 1; wish me luck.
Oh, and slightly less thrilling but pertinent because I need music to write (and to breathe and to live, for that matter)…I’ve become strangely obsessed with “New World In My View,” by King Britt/Sister Gertrude Morgan, the song that played at the end of True Blood last Sunday. So, so cool.
I’ve heard of actors who have a hard time watching their own movies and singers who won’t listen to their own songs. Well, I find it very difficult to read my own work once I know it’s out there. This might seem like an amusing little quirk, but it’s almost debilitating, because there’s that pesky editing process to get through. By nature of this process, you are required to face your mistakes head on and deal with them.
I just finished up galley proofs for Unleashed, and it was all I could do to struggle through. I’m always seeing things I should’ve worded differently, thinking of things I should have added, or finding words or phrases I wish I’d left out altogether. Knowing my friends have read it–even my mom has read it–seriously freaks me out. This isn’t because it was my first book; I’ve been writing since I was a kid and I’ve always been like this. So, first book or fortieth, it won’t matter. Once my words have had another set of eyes on them, I have to force myself to read them. It’s even hard for me to read over my posts for Excerpt Monday.
I don’t want to doubt myself. I know I have a lot to learn, and I’ll never learn it all. I think I’m pretty laid back and easy going as writers go. I don’t get in a snit over editorial changes, and rejection doesn’t get me down much at all, if only because I go in expecting it. So I don’t understand why I have to have this one big, weird, almost paralyzing quirk…but it makes me want to crawl under something and not come out.
Music is a huge inspiration to me. I couldn’t work without it. Not only do certain songs help me dig down deep when I need to write a particularly emotional scene, but my favorite way to unwind is to turn up my iPod and drown out the world. This is usually when my ideas come to me, sometimes a new storyline, sometimes a breakthrough for a current one.
I had a lot of fun writing Brian’s story because he likes my kind of music. So I thought I’d run down a list of tunes that either appear in his book, or inspired his character.
“Deep” by Nine Inch Nails — The video is playing when Candace goes to Brian for her first tattoo. The lyrics, along with the toxic dyes in the video… hotness.
“My Curse” by Killswitch Engage — One particular line in this song inspired a whole scene.
“This Love” by Pantera — Dark, ominous, angry, kind of scary. If you’re a metal fan in Texas, you have to love Pantera. It’s required.
“Freak on a Leash” by Korn — Song is about how Jonathan Davis feels in the music industry, but it’s also how Brian feels when he’s dealing with family issues. There’s also a scene at a Korn concert. Since they’re my favorite band, and inspire me on a whole other level, I had to give them a shout-out.
“Dead Memories” by Slipknot — I meant to include this in a scene in which Brian is reminiscing about a past girlfriend (Candace’s cousin), because it sums up his feelings about it quite well. I never put it in, but it still makes the cut here. Maybe I’ll edit it in later.
“Two Weeks” by All That Remains — Mainly because I really, really like it. And because the story happens over a course of roughly two weeks, and it’s a rollercoaster. This is the song that’s actually playing in the reminiscing scene mentioned above.
“Bliss” by Syntax — Because Candace likes it. She thinks it’s sexy. ;)
“Cuts You Up” by Static-X — He’s pretty cut up and pissed off about it when this is playing… “Oblivion” by Mastodon — Because sometimes I would hear a song and simply think, “He would love this.” “Twilight Zone” by Golden Earring — Mainly for a fun, blowing-off steam scene I eventually deleted. It’s still a guilty pleasure! “You’re Going Down” by Sick Puppies — Another I never mentioned in the book, but makes me think of a certain face-off that occurs…
So, there’s a general idea of what my soundtrack was like for this book. I must say, I’m really having withdrawals after finishing it! I miss seeing it open on my desktop. I have no plans to write Brian and Evan’s sister’s story at the moment, but I might have to someday, just to revisit these characters.
Welcome once again to Excerpt Monday! Click the banner to learn all about it.
In celebration of my finishing Sweet Rebellion (working title only), this month we’re returning to Brian and Candace–go back to June for an introduction to them–and a hot little exchange they have after falling asleep watching a scary movie together. I hope you enjoy. :)
__________________________________
The clock on Candace’s bookshelf revealed in glowing green numbers that it was after three a.m. “It’s so late.”
Brian stood and stretched his tall, lean physique in a way that reminded her of a sleek black panther. “I shouldn’t have crashed on you. You should go on to bed.”
She scrambled up next to him. “No, I mean, it’s late, and you’re sleepy, so, um…you don’t have to go.” She became lost in the flickering light from the TV reflected in his dark eyes. “I hate to think of you out driving right now. I would worry about you.”
“Trust me, I’ve been out later than this.”
He must think she was still a naïve little kid. Maybe in some ways she was. She was operating on auto-pilot here. “I’m sure you have, but I’d like for you to stay.”
“I really shouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
He just looked at her, a puzzled line appearing between his eyebrows.
“I’m not asking for anything,” she said in a rush. “I—”
Her voice gave out. How in the hell could she think she was ready for this, any of this, when she didn’t even have the guts to tell him out loud what she wanted?
She was a colossal failure at playing the seductress, and the humiliation bit hard and deep. If she struck out now, she would never be able to face him again, the only guy she’d ever felt…this…for.
Maybe it was twisted that she was contemplating exploring territory her cousin had mapped before, but that had become nothing more than an unhappy circumstance in her mind. Michelle had only seen him first. Michelle would probably do the same thing, were their positions reversed. Michelle would certainly know what to do in this situation, with a man she desperately wanted standing in her living room in the middle of a lonely night. She’d take him, make him hers, make him crazy with desire for her.
“You’re not?” he asked darkly, and her heart kicked against her rib cage. The look in his eyes terrified her far more than any movie ever could have, but it was a thrilling, exciting fear. Like the last heart-stopping second before the plunge of a roller coaster.
“Well, y-yes, I am, actually.”
He took a step closer, and another, until he was only inches away. So close she could’ve reached out and slipped her hand under his shirt. Or put her arms around his waist to pull him closer.
She couldn’t look up at him after her confession, focusing instead on the splotchy patterns on his shirt. The effort of keeping her breath steady and even was fast becoming a losing battle.
When his hand came up and his fingers brushed her cheek, she couldn’t help closing her eyes at the exquisitely gentle touch and leaning into its warmth.
“Candace,” he said softly. “You’re incredibly beautiful, and I—” He gave up with a sigh. She opened her eyes to see him lean his head back for a moment. “I would be fool to leave.”
He thinks I’m beautiful. She trembled, searching his face for any emotions that might cross it. His jaw clenched as his gaze locked on his hand lying against her cheek. Was that despair? Indecision? He gave her skin a light stroke with his thumb, sending tingles down her spine. “But this isn’t what I had planned when I came here. I promise you that,” he said.
“That’s okay. I didn’t have it planned, either.”
“But I don’t think you were opposed to the idea, were you?”
“Were you?”
“I’ve told myself it’s not going to happen with you, yes.”
Her heart withered in her chest. “Why not?”
“Because you’re you. I can’t explain it any better than that. I think about you all the time, but whenever I do, I feel like a scumbag.”
“What do you think about?”
His sensual lips twisted. “Are you really going to make me answer that?”
“Oh.” She forced her lungs to expand with air. “It’s okay. I think about you too. A lot. And I always wonder what Michelle would think, which makes me feel guilty, but I can’t stop myself. She’s with someone else now and seems really happy, so I don’t feel so bad anymore.” Another deep breath. “I’ve missed you. I don’t want to go back to missing you so much.”
“Sweetheart,” he murmured. Then he did what she had been fantasizing about from the moment he’d touched her: he slid his hand further along her cheek, into her hair. Past her ear. Until his fingers threaded deep and tight into the strands and he palmed the back of her head, bringing her closer until their lips hovered a breath apart.
She made a whimpering sound she hated herself for, and his other hand came up to smooth her hair away from her face. Trapped against him like this, she was powerless. Consumed by him. His breath on her lips, his scent filling her nostrils. The warmth of his hands and his lean body against her. But it was the hard column of his erection pressing into her abdomen that left her in ashes.
He wanted her. It was all the evidence she needed, all the encouragement. She transferred her weight to her tiptoes, closing the distance between his mouth and hers in one small movement. Her heart leapt for joy with the simple, soft contact, and she reveled in the silky scratch of his goatee. The brush of his warm, dry lips opening against her own. But it felt too tentative, too cautious. It wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to-hell-with-the-world passion. She wanted him to feel everything she was feeling, the delight and the terror. How to break the dam?
She meant to put her arms around his neck, but where they went was under his shirt, to the hot, firm flesh beneath. His muscles tensed beneath her touch and, taking that as a good sign, she didn’t retreat but explored further. Tracing the subtle ridges of a six-pack, then the well-defined pecs above. He stiffened and moaned as her fingers passed delicately over the hard circlets of his nipple rings, and that was all it took.
The hand at the back of her head fisted in her hair and she had the crazy thought that this was a Jekyll and Hyde kiss. Reserved and almost passive one minute. Monstrous the next. His mouth claimed hers in a burning rush and she bent back beneath the onslaught, buffeted by sensation that had her gasping against him every time she could come up for air. His tongue invaded her mouth and coaxed hers into a sinuous dance behind her teeth.
She pulled her hands away to clutch fistfuls of his T-shirt and wrench it upward, desperate to finally bare his flesh to her sight. “Take this off,” she pleaded against his mouth. He broke the kiss to peel off his shirt in one fluid motion, tossing it on the couch as she marveled at the TV-lit expanse of skin he revealed. God. It would take hours to lie down and inspect the detailed markings on his arms. She would love to have that kind of time with him.
Smoothing her hands over his skin, she wondered if he noticed how they trembled. When she dared a glance at his face, his eyes were closed, his head tilted back. The star on his left pectoral was a beacon for her lips, and she leaned forward and brushed it delicately.
His hand clenched again in her hair and the hard line of his jaw rubbed over the top of her head. She flickered her tongue across his skin, savoring his answering groan. The rush of power was heady and intoxicating, and she gasped when he pulled her head back by her hair to brand her lips again with his.
Oh…Jesus. She’d never been kissed like this before. There had been the guy who tried to swab her tonsils and the guy who seemed to be trying to draw blood with his teeth and the guy who did it just right, but didn’t make her feel…this. Brian’s taste invaded her mouth, sensuous and dark and everything she had ever imagined. No, it was more. His tongue touched and teased hers until she melted away and leaned her knees into his in an effort to remain standing. The liquid ache in her sex had drained all strength from the waist down. She needed him to catch her before she fell. She was sliding…
His arms swept down around her waist, strong and solid. “I got you,” he murmured, one hand sweeping down to cup her ass and lift her against him. She took the welcome opportunity to wrap her legs around him, grinding her crotch against his erection. It felt huge. Oh, holy hell.
“Where?” he whispered, still sliding his lips over hers, scrambling her thoughts. Her trembling redoubled.
Links to other Monday Excerpts:
Note: I have not personally screened these excerpts. Please heed the ratings and be aware that the links may contain material that is not typical of my site.
When I was writing Unleashed, I had no idea the hero’s younger brother, Brian, would start speaking to me. (Holy unlikely romance novel hero, Batman!) He’s loud, inked, pierced, foul-mouthed, and basically doesn’t give much of a damn about anything. In Unleashed he’s only really onstage for one scene. He was cleaned up a bit during final edits and another of his scenes was deleted altogether, so my vision of him is probably a lot harsher than the readers of that story know.
After I finished the book, and attempted to work on other things, he kept barging in on my thoughts. I kept trying to shove him out. I tried to tell him he would be too hard to redeem. Then I realized something about Brian: when he sees something he wants, he’s unstoppable. It occurred to me that I mentioned he’d gotten something he really wanted at the end of Unleashed, and it opened up all kinds of possibilities for him to prove himself.
It was easy to see what kind of heroine a guy like him needed: a sheltered virgin princess. That’s what he calls her, anyway. Candace is someone who can bring out the softer side in him, and almost from the first moment she gets her hands on him, he’s a mess. He keeps up appearances, but inside, he’s in turmoil. It fascinated me to watch how differently he interacted with her. With his friends and family, he’s an impossible smartass. With her, he’s gentler. She grounds him. He muses late in the story that she’s the eye to his hurricane. I love that.
I guess it’s true the bad boys fall the hardest. There were scenes in which he made me cry, and he always made me melt. I can only hope I’ve transferred this couple to the page as vividly as they exist in my thoughts, but then that’s true of all the characters I write.
So, as usual, Brian got what he wanted, as last week I typed The End on his story, all 88,000 words of it. I wrote most of it in two frantic pushes: one in late April and another in July. I hadn’t planned on it being so long, but that’s okay. I’m almost done with the polishing process, and I’m really excited about it.
Wish me luck in finding him a home. I hate the phrase “It’s the book of my heart!”, because they should ALL be from the heart, or else what are you doing this for? But this one just might be a little closer than others.
Welcome to the July edition of Excerpt Monday! For all the details, please go here and read all about Bria Quinlan and Mel Berthier’s most excellent brainchild.
This month I’ve pulled from one of my paranormals, a vampire historical I now call Eternal… but only until something better strikes me. It was titled Midnight Sun once upon a time, but that has since changed for reasons which are probably obvious. This one is completed and I’m about 2/3 of the way through revisions, though I’ve stalled to focus on other things. But I really love this story, and these characters.
My vampire hero is in a bit of a snit here. :-) He’s trying to protect the heroine from eeevil–namely, a cruel, centuries-old vamp who’s obsessed with her and stalks her through every reincarnated form she lives. But she’s testing his own restraint…
When she was fairly certain the entire house was abed and Lily was resting comfortably, Fallon slipped outside into the darkness.
Her heart was pounding. It hadn’t stopped since seeing her sister again. Jonas’s shadow had seemed to hover over the entire encounter, as well as the rest of the evening spent in Lily’s company. She hadn’t been able to shake off its presence, to dispel the knowledge that she was in debt to him for her happiness, that he had brought to her the dearest thing in her life. She wanted to erase his pain just as he had erased her own. She was going to.
He would probably burst a blood vessel over her going out in the dark alone. Indeed, it was probably foolish. But she had glimpsed him heading out to practice with his daggers as he often did just after dark, and she knew right where he was.
Which was fortunate. He was dressed entirely in back and if not for the moonlight glinting from the silver blades as they flipped through the air, she might have missed him.
Dark eyes flickered toward her as she approached, then focused on his target once again. She paused, giving him plenty of space, reluctant to admit to herself that she was afraid to get too close. “Jonas?”
Surprisingly, he didn’t respond, not even to exhort her to go back inside. She watched the grace of his lean body as he took aim, the bunching of muscle beneath dark fabric as he released. A split second later, in the time it took lightning to shoot across the sky, the blade slammed firmly in bark.
She tore her gaze from it and looked at him, something trembling in the pit of her stomach. “I wanted to thank you for seeing to my sister’s safety. She’s very happy to be here. I think she looks better than I’ve ever seen her.”
Exhausted of blades, he strode toward the tree to retrieve the four that were planted there without another glance at her. For all the attention he gave her, she could have been invisible. Heaving a sigh, Fallon crossed her arms and looked toward the house where Lily was sleeping in her bedchamber. “Do you plan on ignoring me forever? If so, tell me now and I will never bother speaking to you again.”
“I accept your thanks.”
She waited for him to say more, but he took position once again, flipping three of the knives to the ground in quick succession, stabbing them into the earth. It wasn’t until then that she actually heard the finality in his tone. There seemed to be a delay between her ears and her brain where he was concerned. Just like that, she had been dismissed.
“I know you’re the only person in your universe, but need I remind you there is a big world out here, and other people in it who need you.”
A blade thumped into bark.
She drew a breath and rushed on. “You cannot keep shutting us all out. Your brother needs you, I need you…”
He didn’t care. The stiffness of his posture, the dark ice in his eyes, told her that much. Or else he was still so angry with her he refused to acknowledge the truth in her words. Either way, there was no need for her to stand here wasting her breath on him. But her mouth wouldn’t stop speaking.
“Ignore me, then. Forget me. Let Arric come and take me. At least then I’ll not be around to annoy you any longer.” He had the audacity to laugh then, the sound as cold as it was infuriating to her. “I see. Forgive me my lunacy for thinking you might give a damn.”
Skirts swishing about her legs, she whirled away, her strides too long and filled with too much purpose as she climbed the hill toward the house. Damn him! Damn his darkness, and his depression, and his damned gallantry, damn it all! Damn him even for knowing that he affected her this way…damn him mostly for that.
From behind her and through the rushing in her ears came the whoosh and thump of another knife hitting the tree, this one louder and harder than the ones before it. And then came his voice, bleak and sullen as the night enshrouding them.
“Fallon.”
She shouldn’t have turned so quickly, so readily, and she hated herself for doing so. She should have kept walking, ignoring him, subjecting him to the same humiliation she’d just suffered. But his voice…she could never defy that voice. She could never deny it something it asked for, and beyond all hope, it had asked for her.
Wordlessly, she stared at him, watched him glare at the spot where his blade had just punched through bark. Watched as he turned, and leveled her with those eyes that flashed strangely as the moonlight pooled in their depths.
Her heart pounded a searing tattoo through her veins. Fallon at first thought he didn’t look like himself at that moment, only he did. It was just some horribly magnified version of him, ragged and worn and savagely masculine, that stalked toward her then. His ebony hair blended with the blackness of the unlaced shirt that parted over his chest, cloaking him with the same velvet hues that colored the air around them. She could see the strong line of his collarbone, the shadow of dark hair that dusted his chest. He was so startlingly virile that she felt all at once stupid and contrite in front of him. A little girl who had just burned herself despite all his warnings not to play with fire. She swallowed thickly as he reached her.
“What in the hell do you want of me?” he demanded.
Anger rushed up to replace the muddle her mind had become. “You brought me here, protected me, but now that I need you, you ignore me. I don’t understand, and I can’t take this any longer.”
“Fallon—”
“What is it about me that offends you so? I’ve been afraid to inquire, but no more! You just asked what I want from you, Jonas, but don’t you see? Are you so blind?” Her chest heaved, words crowding around her lips, clamoring for escape. She couldn’t speak them. She couldn’t…
I only want you!
He was utterly still, watching her, waiting in some wrenching mixture of dread and enthrallment. She turned away. Her heart was going like mad and she couldn’t have him stand there and look at her that way, not after he had so ruthlessly shattered her all those nights ago. He would never want her. Why had she come here tonight? How stupid could she have been?
She hadn’t even the time to take a single step before his hand closed about her arm, gentle and yet with a firmness she doubted she could have broken even if she’d wanted to.
“Wait.” Just that. One word, and she was going nowhere. His fingers reeased her without turning her around. “’Tis not I who is so blind.”
She wanted to look at him. She couldn’t. If she did… “How do you mean?”
He exhaled slowly, deeply, and she felt his breath rustle the hair at the back of her neck. Her eyes closed as that little tickle seemed to turn into a full body caress. “Kiss me again,” he whispered. “I’ll show you.”
Oh, sweet, merciful God. She remembered how his lips had burned. She remembered the ache of longing. Surely if she felt that again it would shatter her, no matter how she wanted it. “I can’t. I didn’t ask for you to bring me here. I didn’t ask for your protection. I did not ask to feel this way about you, and I am not about to ask you to feel something you can’t. Coming out here has been a mistake. I don’t care anymore.”
She was scrounging the dregs of her soul for the one measure of pride she needed to walk away, to breathe truth into her bravado. It was nowhere to be found. Jonas had said her name again, damn him.
It was the only warning he gave. Just her name, whispered. Raw.
The next instant, she was swept around and into his arms. Like steel they surrounded her, unbreakable, inescapable. The only place on earth she wanted to be. The desire he wove about her as she was crushed against him was nothing short of preternatural, as if he were a sorcerer casting his dark enchantment. “You liar,” he said. And his mouth fell on hers.
She gasped his name against his lips, feeling in one instant as if she’d just been thrown from the earth’s surface and was spinning dizzily through the heavens. Finding an exquisite point between tender and ravishing, his tongue lined her bottom lip and she opened helplessly to it, let it delve between her teeth. Liquid heat flowed through her belly and spurred her own fierce reaction. She drank in the intoxicating warmth of his breath, buried her fingers in his hair and silently dared him to try and escape her this time.
He was right, after all. She was a liar. One of the vilest sort, if she’d ever tried to deny that she wanted him.
I’ve just committed to JulNoWriMo at Romance Divas. I’m excited and more than a little nervous. I’ve never really had anyone cracking the whip with my writing–except for me, and apparently I’m not a good whip cracker.
The thing is, my day is pretty filled up (whose isn’t?) and writing sometimes takes a backseat to more leisurely activities when I have a moment I’m not working or parenting. It’s not that I don’t love to write, or need to write. When a story is burning in my brain, nothing can keep me from the computer. It takes over at the most inopportune moments, too.
Earlier this year I was at a work-related conference, and if I had even 30 spare minutes, I scurried to my room to get a few words down. When I wasn’t doing that, I was plotting out in my head what I was going to write during my next break. I didn’t socialize. I stayed up every night until 2 a.m. alone in my hotel room, typing away. (“Alone” and “hotel room” might’ve had a lot to do with it. No interruptions and no mess staring me in the face, enticing me to get up and clean/do dishes/do laundry.) But if I let that burn cool down even for a couple of days, I lose my drive. It’s easy to do when faced with the responsibilities at home.
So, here’s hoping I do well this month with my new endeavor. I’ve committed to 35K words, and that will finish up Brian’s story, no problem. I’ll have a great group cracking that whip. Also, I fully plan on participating in Excerpt Monday again, so you guys come back on the 13th and see what I have in store. Not sure yet which of my WIPs I’ll pull from, or if it will be a favorite scene from Unleashed. I just know last month was a blast and I can’t wait to do it again!
It’s really scary how fast it flies by. My kids are 11 years apart, the youngest 7 months, and I find it hard to believe that by the time she’s her brother’s age, he’ll be grown and out of the house. Hopefully, anyway.
I went to YouTube the other day to hunt for this video. If you know me, whether personally or from Twitter or any forums I post on, then most likely you know I’m a Korn fanatic. I would talk about how much I love this band, but I wouldn’t be able to adequately express my devotion, and it would probably just come off as weird, anyway.
So I was watching this, and it slapped me right across the face that it was ten years ago. I remember that weekend of Woodstock ’99…no, I didn’t go, unfortunately (or fortunately, because I might have been brutalized in that crush). I taped Korn’s entire set. That tape is long gone, but bits and pieces can be found at YouTube. I’d give anything to have that tape. It was their most amazing performance ever. I’m pretty sure even the guys in the band say that. The crowd was insane and they fed off that energy. It was the height of their career. When Jonathan Davis screams “Arrrre you rrrready?” and the crowd goes freaking insane, I still get chills. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen them live (it’s in the mid-teens), how many times I’ve heard him bellow those words while I was out in the crowd, but I don’t think any of those times was quite as powerful as during that Woodstock set, which I watched from the safety of my living room.
They’ve lost two of the original members since then. I still love those guys dearly, but damn, how I miss what they used to be. Oh, well. There’s no going back, so here’s to the next decade, guys, and hoping it’ll be just as awesome as the last
